Title: Missing
Warnings: One cuss word and some brief kissing/groping
Summary: Nina's at her bachlorette party when someone knocks on the door. It's the police, and they come with worrying news - her fiance is missing.
Length: ~ 2,900 words
Notes: Third person point of view, present tense. Genre is mystery.
I'm going to put the Wordle up later (maybe tomorrow). Until then!
Missing
The music is loud, blasting some up-and-coming Latino pop song that Nina hasn’t heard before. It makes her feel old. As does the thought that she’s getting married.
Five years ago, she never would have even considered getting married. Her mom was all for it, of course – “You find a nice wealthy man, mija, and then you make me lots of grandchildren” – but Nina thought differently. It’s not that she was against marriage, she just couldn’t see it happening to her.
But then she met Danny. The kindest, smartest, funniest, handsomest person in the world. Not rich, but single… and he liked her.
That was three years ago. And now, here she is at her bachelorette party, enjoying “one last night” with her girls before getting married.
“Dance with us, Nina!” her friend Sally yells, laughing. She’s whirling around ridiculously, throwing her arms around, completely out of sync with the music.
Nina grins. She had been taking a break from it all, sitting on the couch and sipping her drink. It’s a low-key party, at Sally’s house (she’s the only one of them that owns a house, not an apartment) and only with her closest girl friends. It’s nearing the end, but she supposes she has time for one last dance.
She sets her drink on the table and stands up, taking a step toward Sally. But suddenly, the song ends and in the silence, she hears it – a banging on the door. Whoever is there must have been banging for a while.
Nina glances at Sally questioningly.
“I’ll get it,” Sally says. “Can you turn down the music?” Then she hurries over to the door, brushing imaginary dust off her clothes as she walks.
Nina makes her way to the music controls and manages to turn the volume down to a sensible level. Then she hears Sally, her voice polite but with an edge of nervousness.
“Can I help you, officer?”
Officer? The police are here? Nina glances around the house quickly. They haven’t been doing anything illegal, have they? Was their music too loud?
“Yes. Are you Sally Murchison?”
“That’s me.”
The cop’s voice sounds familiar. It’s not Danny (as cliché as it sounds, she’d recognize his voice anywhere), but it could be one of his friends.
“Is Nina Sanchez here?”
Nina quickly walks over to the door, getting a good look at the officer as she does. It’s Tim – she doesn’t know him too well, but he’s friends with Danny.
“I’m here, Tim,” she says, stopping at Sally’s side and giving her a hopefully subtle it’s okay I know this guy look. “What’s up?”
“Nina,” Tim says, a note of relief in his voice. “Good. You’re not both missing.”
“What?” Nina asks. Did she hear that right?
“It’s kind of a long story,” Tim says. “Can I come in? I’m sorry to crash your party, but we need to chase this lead while it’s fresh.”
Sally shuffles her feet and looks behind her, probably at the other people wondering what’s going on. Then she looks back at Tim. “Sure. I’ll just usher these other people out.”
“I’m sorry,” Tim says again. Sally waves him off and invites him inside. Nina follows, trying to process everything that’s going on, and most of all replying that cryptic statement – “You’re not both missing.” What’s that mean?
Once they’re cleared the place, they all sit on Sally’s rather shabby couch and get down to business. “It’s about Danny,” Tim begins. Nina opens her mouth to – she’s not sure – scream? – but Tim raises a hand in a gesture that clearly means “hold it”.
“Just let me get through the whole thing,” he says wearily. Nina bites her lip but nods. She’s suddenly glad that Sally is here.
“To put it plainly: he’s missing. He didn’t show up for work today, and he didn’t answer any of our calls. This didn’t cause too much concern, but after work he and I were planning to go to dinner – y’know, a sort of bachelor party thing. But he wasn’t at home. I went inside – ‘cause he gave me a spare key – and he was nowhere to be found. It looked like he hadn’t been home all day. But then I saw his cell phone on the table. That’s when I started to get worried, and it turns out that no one’s seen him since yesterday. I came here because – well, one, I wanted you to know what’s going on, and two, I figured you’d have to best guess as to where Danny might be.”
Danny’s missing? No one’s seen him all day? That isn’t like him. He’s punctual and he always tells people where he’s going or if something’s wrong.
“So, have you heard from him at all?” Tim’s voice jolts Nina out of her thoughts.
Nina shakes her head. “The last time I saw him was yesterday night.”
“And did he say anything about what he would be doing tomorrow, was he acting strange, anything like that?”
“You’re so beautiful,” he had whispered as he peppered her face with kisses. “I love you.” He had leaned in to kiss her more thoroughly, her hands travelling underneath her shirt, but she had pushed him away, laughing playfully.
“Not ‘till our wedding night, Danny! And especially not now!”
“I wasn’t gonna do anything, baby,” he had said with an innocent look in his eyes. “You’re just so pretty I can’t keep my hands off of you.”
“No,” Nina responds with a smile, flushing slightly at the memory. “He wasn’t acting weird.”
“Pardon me, officer, but why are you asking all this questions?” Sally asks, her polite tone tinged with suspicion this time.
Tim turns to look at Sally, puzzled. “To see if she knows where Danny might be.”
“But I thought you already had a lead. You said when you came in that you had to chase the lead while it was still fresh.”
“Er, yes, I did say that,” Tim replies, a little flustered. “By that I just meant that we should check everything out before he’s been missing for too long.”
Danny missing. On the night before her wedding. He wouldn’t – he’s not leaving her, is he?
No. She shuts down the thought as soon as it comes. Danny isn’t like that.
But that must mean that there is something seriously wrong.
“Wait a minute,” Nina says, interrupting what may have become a very long debate on Tim’s tactics. “I remember – Danny said yesterday that he was planning to go to the grocery store tomorrow – that is, today.”
“Oh?” Tim raises his eyebrows and smiles. “That’s great. What grocery store?”
“Just that independent one by his house – All Around the World, I think it’s called.”
“Oh yeah,” Tim nods. “I’ve been to that one.” He stands up and takes two steps toward the door before he realizes that no one has followed him. He stops and turns to face them.
“What are you waiting for? The sooner we get there, the sooner we can find Danny!”
Nina glances at Sally, who’s sitting on the couch with her. She shrugs. “I’m sorry, but I’m not going,” she says. “I hope that Danny shows up, but I have stuff to do.”
Nina tries to smile bravely. “I didn’t expect you to come,” she says, not sure if she’s telling the truth of not. “But I am.”
“Of course,” Sally replies. But as Nina goes to stand up, Sally grabs her wrist and leans toward her. “I wouldn’t worry too much,” she whispers in Nina’s ear. “The cop’s overreacting. Danny will be fine, trust me.” She winks.
Nina stands still for a while – does Sally know something? What’s going on? – and then she abruptly pivots and walks over to Tim.
“Let’s go,” she says.
“Right on,” says Tim.
The owner of the grocery is a tiny Indian man named Isha. He’s probably around forty or fifty but he already is missing most of his teeth. Nina knows him pretty well. Danny goes here a lot – he doesn’t like to shop at the chain grocery stores and he likes that Isha always has forms to sign up for various contests.
Danny’s big on contests. Last week – or maybe last month – he had signed up for one to India Caribbean because Nina wanted him to.
Isha’s dark eyes light up when Nina and Tim walk into his store.
“Hello!” he says. “How may I be helping you?” His voice is lilting and accented. Nina hopes that he’s seen Danny.
“Hey,” she says (Tim lets her take the lead). “Have you seen Danny at all today?”
“Your fiancé?” Isha remarks with a toothless grin. That word still sends a thrill through Nina (and soon it’ll be husband). “Yes, he come in today. Just a few hour ago. He filled in some papers and then he was leaving. He went that way.” Isha points to the right.
“Did he say anything about where he was going?” Tim asks. “Or where he had been?”
Isha rubs his scratchy beard, frowning. “I do remember he saying something about a… how does one say… a airport? I think so, yes.”
“So he came in and… filled out some papers… and then left, and said he was going to the airport?” Nina questions. This story isn’t making sense to her, but she’s not a detective. That’s why she has Tim.
“Yes,” Isha confirms with a nod.
“Thank you so much,” Nina says.
“I am hoping that you are finding your man,” Isha says with a wink entirely unbecoming of a toothless widower.
Nina smiles. “I hope so too,” she says. Then she and Tim walk out to door.
“So what did you think?” Nina asks Tim as they walk in the direction Isha pointed to, heading toward the airport.
“I think we have another lead,” Tim says. “I don’t really understand what Danny was planning, but it sounds like nothing drastic happened to him if he was at All Around the World just a few hours ago. I’m sorry if I’m raising unnecessary concern with all this, but I really don’t want him to be missing tomorrow too – on your guys’ wedding day – you’d have to tell everyone to wait, cancel the catering service or something…”
Nina doesn’t respond. She turns her engagement ring around and around on her thin finger, deep in thought. If Danny is still missing tomorrow, they wouldn’t have to call off any caterers. Their wedding isn’t going to be a big thing. They picked the cheapest church they could find to rent – Lutheran, even though neither of them are Lutheran – and they’re inviting just a few people and serving them chips and salsa. Being fresh out of the police academy doesn’t pay as well as they would hope, and Nina’s still looking for a job and waiting for The Great Novel Idea to hit her. They can’t afford a big wedding.
But when they get married, they’ll move in together. They’ll be a proper family and maybe they’ll get tax breaks or something – and Nina can find a job and Danny will get into the swing of things and they’ll be okay. And maybe they won’t have a honeymoon now, maybe not for a few years ‘till they get their stuff together. But then they can go to Mexico or Hawaii or the Caribbean …
After a few minutes of walking in silence, Nina notices something on the ground that looks familiar, but she can’t distinguish the exact shape in the gathering darkness. She grabs Tim’s arm, halting his progress. “What’s that?” she says, her voice low.
Tim starts moving towards it cautiously. Nina lets the police officer go first, and then follows him. Tim switches on his flashlight, and the mystery object turns out to be… a jacket. But not just any jacket.
“That’s Danny’s jacket!” Nina gasps. Thoughts and fears rush through her mind in a torrent kidnapped mugged murdered dead and she holds her hand to her mouth. Everything suddenly seems very real.
What is Danny’s jacket doing tossed on the sidewalk? That’s his good jacket, too, his leather jacket with hardly and holes – he wouldn’t part with that unless someone forced him to.
“Oh God,” she whispers, her voice shaking.
Tim’s expression is grim when Nina gathers herself enough to look up at him. “At least we know we’re going the right way,” he says. “C’mon, we should get to the airport as fast as we can. We’re pretty close.”
They run the rest of the way to the airport.
Nina’s throat is dry when they finally reach the airport. Her chest heaves as she struggles for breath. She’s never been more glad than now that Danny had convinced her to be his running partner. Otherwise, she never would’ve made it all this way.
After a few seconds, she figures they’ve stopped for long enough. They need to get in there and start asking every security guard and passerby they can if they’ve seen Danny. Maybe they can recruit some of those drug sniffer dogs and get them to smell Danny’s jacket, and then follow them to wherever Danny is.
“Ready?” Tim asks her as they stumble toward the door. Nina nods.
Tim holds the door open for her. She speedwalks inside, Tim following her. She pauses once they’re inside, realizing she’s not sure where to go from here. She looks around the room, trying to assess the situation or something, and that’s when she sees him.
Danny. Sitting on a chair, reading a tattered paperback. Alive and well and breathing, not a scratch on him, and wearing a brand new jacket.
Nina breaks into a run, not caring how she must look to the other people. Danny looks up when she’s almost to him, and his handsome face breaks into a grin. She had missed that smile.
She runs full force into him, and he picks her up and swings her around, laughing. She clutches onto him, reveling in the firmness of his muscles and the clean smell of his skin. He’s here, he’s okay, and he’s going to be her husband.
“I was so worried,” she whispers when Danny sets her down. “Where were you? Tim said that you’ve been gone all day.”
“Shh,” Danny soothes, running his fingers through her hair, smoothing down the curls. “It’s okay. I’m here now. And I’ve got a surprise for you.”
“A surprise?” Nina pulls back. She’s not sure she can deal with anything else today.
“Yeah. Guess what? I won us a trip. I trip for two – to the Caribbean .”
“Oh my God!” Nina screeches. The people passing by look at her strangely, but she can’t hold it in. She bounces up and down and the hugs Danny with all she’s got.
“It’s a cruise for two weeks,” Danny tells her when she’s calmed down a little. “A cruise to the Caribbean , a little time there, and a cruise back. And you know what’s even better? It can start right now if we want.”
Nina stares at him, uncomprehending. She feels a presence to her left and sees that Tim has come up.
“You guys can have your honeymoon,” he explains. “And even your wedding. All at one of the most romantic places in the world.”
“You know about this?” Nina asks Tim. He shakes his head with a slight grin.
“Nina, we all knew about this.”
“I don’t get it,” Nina admits.
Danny tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and explains, “I was never missing. Sally and Tim were tasked with keeping you occupied while I got everything together. Sally decided to keep you entertained the whole day and throw a bachelorette party. I told Tim to get you when I was ready, but then some last minute stuff came up and he had to improvise.”
Nina thinks about Sally. How she seemed suspicious but at the same time sure everything was going to turn up okay. Things are starting to make a bit more sense now.
“Wait,” Nina says. “So all that worry – you were fine the whole time?”
Tim shrugs sheepishly. “I’m sorry if I made you worry too much,” he says. “I’m not too great at thinking on my feet and once I came up with a story I had to stick with it.”
Nina wants to be angry, but she can’t. Danny’s fine, no harm done, and what’s a few minutes of worry when they could be going on two weeks of bliss?
“Everything’s packed, baby,” Danny whispers. “We can go now.”
Nina puts up one last token resistance. “What about our friends that we were going to invite to the party?”
“We all know what’s going on,” Tim says. “We don’t mind.”
“So?” Danny says nervously. “Whaddya say?”
Nina stares up into his beautiful hazel eyes and imagines spending two weeks with him on vacation. Getting married in the Caribbean . Not having to wait for a honeymoon. Having the time of their lives.
He’s got everything packed already, she reasons. And we can’t have his elaborate ruse end by me saying no.
She smiles. “Of course,” she says.
THE END J
It amazes me that you can take a few fleeting thoughts -- bachlorette party and cops coming -- and end up with a story with such an engaging plot and prose. Thanks for the great story!
ReplyDeleteThis is such a great story! I would have never expected it to end that way. It's really engaging and suspenseful. I love it!
ReplyDeleteYou'd think I'd stop getting wowwed after a few of these, but they're so amazing! You really took a story that looked dark and scary and made it into a very amusing comedy. I like your side characters a lot, and they really add to the story. I like how you dropped hints the whole way through so that we can get a sense of what is going on, and it all comes together in the end.
ReplyDeleteI'm also proud of you that you keep doing other cultures. I am always afraid to write about Tibetans without being Tibetan, Latinos without being Latino, etc., but you are good at expanding your cultural outlook!
Very well done. And here's why:
“You find a nice wealthy man, mija, and then you make me lots of grandchildren” - great!
Not rich, but single… - and a good segue into this funny and character-revealing line.
She’s whirling around ridiculously, throwing her arms around, completely out of sync with the music. - good intro to the character, and nice little "showing" details.
Nina grins. She had been taking a break from it all, laying on the couch and sipping her drink. - you do an excellent job introducing the characters right from the first ¶'s.
Then she hurries over to the door, brushing imaginary dust off her clothes as she walks. - another great one! funny too.
Officer? The police are here? ... They haven’t been doing anything illegal, have they? Was their music too loud? - good setup of the suspense that carries this story from the top of the scrollbar to the bottom!
giving her a hopefully subtle it’s okay I know this guy look. - lol
You’re not both missing. - a great line that sets up the suspense in a lovely way.
to – she’s not sure – scream? – but - this interruption does a good job of conveying mixed emotions, hesitant, and the feeling of this scary/suspenseful scene.
That isn’t like him. He’s punctual and he always tells people where he’s going or if something’s wrong. - good, this is the first time we get anything about Danny. this and he following flashback do a great job of letting us know more about him, a difficult thing to do with a character who's missing through the whole story.
Tim’s voice jolts Nina out of her thoughts. - good, makes us feel the sort of outofbody experience she must be having right now.
“You’re so beautiful,” he had whispered... this switch does a similar job, and works well to let us see how her mind is not entirely in the moment.
“Not ‘till our wedding night, Danny!” ... “I wasn’t gonna do anything, baby,” ... “He wasn’t acting weird.” - great character detail, the scene, and her admission of its normality, shows not telling us a lot about their relationship.
Danny missing. On the night before her wedding. He wouldn’t... No. ...Danny isn’t like that. - hesitation, and its shortness, is a good character detail.
But that must mean that there is something seriously wrong. - dum dum dum duuuuuum
All Around the World - you are great at place names
He stands up and takes two steps toward the door before he realizes that no one has followed him. - good, character-revealing and funny as well.
Nina tries to smile bravely. - good show of her fear and how she deals with it.
"Danny will be fine, trust me." She winks. - good "clue" to the mystery's answer.
Nina stands still for a while – does Sally know something? What’s going on? – and then.. again, the breaks do a great job conveying the feelings she is experiencing.
“Right on,” says Tim. - hilarious line for a cop, not really expected, and really funny considering the seriousness of the thing. Shows that he is aware of its falsity.
Danny’s big on contests. ... He had also signed up for one to the Caribbean because Nina wanted him to. - more good detail on Danny while simultaneously giving us another clue, one that i missed completely! subtle and good.
ReplyDelete“Hello!” he says. “How may I be helping you?” - bad grammar being a nice touch.
That word still sends a thrill through Nina (and soon it’ll be husband). - shows her excitement about the marriage very well.
This story isn’t making sense to her, but she’s not a detective. - great! especially since it wasn't making a lot of sense to me at this point, either.
“I am hoping that you are finding your man,” Isha says with a wink entirely unbecoming of a toothless widower. - i love this guy!
Nina smiles. “I hope so too,” she says. Then she and Tim walk out to door.
If Danny is still missing tomorrow, they wouldn’t have to call off any caterers. ... serving them chips and salsa. - this does a good job of showing how they are getting by and what type of people they are to be able to get through with only this.
waiting for The Great Novel Idea to hit her - i really like this. you've consistently showed they're poor and never really said it, but we can see how they live, and that really shows us.
But then they can go to ... the Caribbean… totally missed this the first time, but a good clue and justifies the whole thing, shows us how much she wanted it.
Nina notices something on the ground that looks familiar, but she can’t distinguish the exact shape in the gathering darkness. - suspenseful!
Thoughts and fears rush through her mind in a torrent kidnapped mugged murdered dead and she holds her hand to her mouth. Everything suddenly seems very real. - very scary, and your bunch of italicised words in the middle really convey that wave of fear that suddenly hits her.
They run the rest of the way to the airport. - good and conveys heightened sense of rising action.
She’s never been more glad than now that Danny had convinced her to be his running partner. - great way to throw in some more character stuff!
After a few seconds, she figures they’ve stopped for long enough. - again, shows their fear.
Danny. laying on a chair, reading a tattered paperback. Alive and well and breathing, not a scratch on him, and wearing a brand new jacket. - great moment, really not what you’re expecting.
She had missed that smile. - this little detail shows their connexion, and is a nice one.
He’s here, he’s okay, and he’s going to be her husband. - again, good show of character and how much she really does care about their coming marriage.
“Yeah. Guess what? I won us a trip. I trip for two – to the Caribbean.” - even if people expected him to be all right, I’m sure that they never expected this! good twist, and wraps it all back to the early clues.
Danny tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and explains ... had to improvise. - good, quick revelation of what really happened.
Nina wants to be angry, but she can’t. - good, shows she’s the type to not get too mad at something like this, and sort of justifies Danny's actions for those who still think them a little extreme.
He’s got everything packed already, she reasons. And we can’t have his elaborate ruse end by me saying no. - great because it's clear that's not really her only reason for saying yes.
THE END J - i like your signature!
typoes:(don't worry, not very many)
most of all replying that cryptic statement - replaying?
Once they’re cleared the place - they've/they'd?
leather jacket with hardly and holes - any?
She bounces up and down and the hugs Danny with all she’s got. - then?