Story #28 - Untitled

Hello everyone! This week's story is certainly "different." It's a break-up story told in reverse, starting with the woman getting over the break-up and ending with the actual break-up. This was inspired by How I Met Your Mother ("a love story in reverse") and a song from it called Sandcastles in the Sand, which is about a break-up.

Enjoy!

Title: Untitled (I'd love any ideas)
Warnings: angst, drinking, one kiss
Summary:  A break-up story told in reverse.
Length: ~1,400 words
Notes: First person point of view, present tense. Genre is... I'm going to go with angst, although it could also fit drama or romance.

Day 186

                It took me 186 days to get over Tyler. In between today and the day he broke up with me, I… well, I did things I’m not proud of. I moped and whined and cried and screamed. But the important thing is that I’m over it, now. So over it that I’m not even thinking about it.

                Right.

                Emma beckons me over with a glance. She’s sitting on one of the few open stools in O’Malley’s, slowly sipping her beer. I walk over to her.

                “How’re you doing?” she asks me, eyes wide and concerned. I have the best friends.

                “I’m okay,” I say quietly. “It’s just kind of weird, being back here.”

                “I hear ya,” Emma replies. “When I broke up with Brian, I didn’t come here for like a year.”

                “Yeah, well, it took me six months,” I say with a wry smile. I try not to look at the booth in the corner. Tyler and I used to sit there all the time.

                But anyway. I’m not going to let myself be ruled by memories today. That’s what I promised myself when I decided to come here.

                I turn back around and the bartender offers me a glass. “Courtesy of that gentleman over there,” he says, pointing out a skinny African-American guy wearing a Rolling Stones t-shirt. He tips his own drink at me with a smile when I look over at him.

                I take the drink and glance at Emma, who winks. “Go get ‘im, tiger,” she grins.

                I am so not ready for this. But I have to be. It’s be 186 days (not that I’m counting) since Tyler dumped me. It’s time for me to get back into the game. I take a deep breath and walk over to the guy.

                “Thanks for the drink,” I say, holding out a hand. “I’m Sarah.”

                “Tyler,” he introduces himself. (You have got to be kidding me.) “And it was my pleasure.”

                “So, Tyler…” I say. (I can do this. Tyler is a common name. I know that.) “You a fan of the Rolling Stones?”

                I get a couple more drinks with Tyler and we talk. He’s a really nice guy. Eventually he has to go, but I give him my phone number. He was right in the middle of an interesting story about work and I want to hear the end of it.

                When he leaves, I want back to Emma, who is still on her stool. I guess she isn’t having much luck tonight. She smiles at me and says, “I’m proud of you. You made a big step today. How’d it go?”

                It’s not until she asks me that I realize I didn’t think of old-Tyler once while I talked to Tyler.

                “It went great,” I say, and I smile.

Day 129

                The phone rings. I try to swallow back the hope that rises every time I hear that noise, but as usual, I can’t. And as usual, it’s not Tyler. It’s Emma.

                I don’t want to pick it up. She’s just going to be all concerned and nice and I’m just going to let her down and annoy her.

                But it doesn’t have to be that way. Maybe I can do whatever it is she wants. She doesn’t ask for much lately. But these days, sometimes even going to Starbucks sounds like too much of a trip.

                I pick up the phone. “Hello?”

                “Sarah?” Emma sounds gentle but hopeful.

                “Yeah?” I reply.

                “Listen, I know it’s hard, but it’s been over four months. We’re all worried about you. Mel and Carrie and I are all going to the beach this afternoon. We’d really like it if you could come with us. So… whaddya say?”

                I think about it. I owe it to them to try to seem better. They’ve all been so good to me. And seriously, this is getting ridiculous. Four months! I didn’t realize it had been that long. Actually, it’s been 129 days. So that’s even longer.

                “I’d love to come,” I say.

                I can almost hear Emma’s smile. “Great! I’m so glad you decided to come, Sarah. We’re gonna have so much fun! Oh, and we’re walking there. We’ll meet up at the corner of your street.”

                “See you there,” I say, and hang up. I stay still for a while, idly tossing the phone between my hands. There’s only one beach within walking distance – the one that Tyler and I used to go to all the time. Over the years that had become “our place”. I shake my head at the “sneakiness” of my friends. Well, this’ll afford me the best opportunity to show to them just how over Tyler I am.

                Right.

                Of course, that idea doesn’t work so well when I break down crying the minute we walk onto the beach and I see a couple building a sandcastle together.

                “I’m sorry,” I say later, when Emma and Carrie and Mel and I are all in my house, surrounding me on the sofa. “I thought I was ready.”

                “It’s okay,” Carrie soothes. “We understand. We’ve all been there.” They all nod.

                I smile. “Thanks, guys. You’re the best.” Still, I have to wonder… if I’m not ready after 129 days, when will I be ready?

Day 54

                I’ve had maybe one too many beers, and it seems like a really good idea to call Tyler. Too bad he changed his number. (Like I would stalk him or something. Really! I only called him… ten times? Twenty? Oh, what’s it matter anyway?)

                I call Emma instead, fingers fumbling over the keys, which insist on doubling themselves and moving around whenever I try to press them. Stupid keys. Stupid me. Stupid Tyler.

                “I miss him,” I wail when Emma picks up. I hear her sigh.

                “I know, Sarah,” she says.

                “What can I do to get ‘im back? Why doesn’t he wan’ me?” This seems really important. If I can fix whatever’s wrong with me, then Tyler will come back, and I’ll be happy again.

                “I don’t know, honey. He’s a jerk. You need to just forget about him and move on with your life, okay? And lay off on the beer. This isn’t you.”

                “’Sis now,” I mutter.

                “Well, it doesn’t have to be,” Emma says with annoyance, and then she hangs up. I sniffle a bit and put the phone down. I should take Emma’s advice, I know.

                I’m just not ready yet.

Day 1

                “You’re breaking up with me?” The words sound foreign in my ears. They’re like another language; they don’t belong in my vocabulary. I stare up at Tyler, unblinking. He stares back at me. Any other day I’d get lost in those beautiful blue eyes of his, but now –

                “You’re breaking up with me?” I repeat, my voice getting shriller.

                Tyler sighs. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I really care about you, Sarah, but you’re just not the one for me. We’re getting older and you’re going to start wanting someone who can be a father and a husband and I just – can’t do that.”

                “I don’t care about that!” I say. “I don’t want kids! I don’t need a husband! I need you!”

                “No, you don’t,” Tyler says with a shake of his head. The sunlight comes in through the window of my kitchen and lights up his eyelashes like fairy dust and all I can think is how beautiful he is, and how much I love him.

                “We’re not good for each other, love,” Tyler says, voice breaking. “I’m sorry. I hate to hurt you like this, but… you’re strong. You’ll be okay.”

                He walks up to me and gives me one last kiss. I melt into it, thinking the whole time, I’ll never be okay. Never.

                We were together for seven years. Seven years. You don’t just throw that away.

                “You can’t go,” I try one last time. “I don’t know how to live without you anymore.”

                Tyler just gives me a sad smile. “I won’t forget you,” he says, and then, just like that, he’s walked out the door.

                “Nor I you,” I respond, alone in my empty house, tears running down my face.

                How will I ever be okay?

                The End J